


Supposed To Be Better

by nbdisasterlyf



Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gifted Kid Syndrome, Nonbinary Character, Other, Self-Indulgent, Tenderness, i'm projecting, smoking mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26632774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nbdisasterlyf/pseuds/nbdisasterlyf
Summary: "normal" and "average" can hurt when you're supposed to be "exceptional"things not working on the first try can be devastating when you're supposed to be above making simple mistakes
Relationships: O5-5 "Brute Force"/O5-6 "The Engineer"|"Human Error"
Kudos: 7





	Supposed To Be Better

**Author's Note:**

> I started this while I was going into an emotional tailspin after getting 90% instead of 100% on an assignment bc of a stupid mistake.

The scene is not a terribly unusual one. Engineer is working on some sort of gadget or gizmo in cer workshop, as ce often did. Meanwhile, Brute Force sits off to the side, smoking a cigarette and watching Engineer work. The two O5s simply enjoy a comfortable silence together for a while, the quiet only broken by the sounds of Engineer working away. Brute Force didn’t bother asking what ce was working on, they doubted they’d understand the answer anyway, but there was something oddly pleasant in watching Engineer go about cer work. Something about cer look of focus and the skilled, careful movements of cer hands. They try not to dwell on the ‘why’ too much.

  
Engineer takes a step back from cer work for a moment. Picking up a small remote, ce turns on power to the machine, presumably to test some part of it. The thing comes to life, quietly at first. Suddenly the silence is broken by an unpleasant whirr followed by the sound of metal clattering against metal as something apparently comes loose inside the strange contraption. Engineer curses emphatically. Ce clumsily switches the power back off and tosses cer goggles aside, almost losing cer glasses in the process, normally steady hands thrown off by cer emotions. With a guttural noise of frustration and a few more colourful words ce lean against the table behind them, head bowed and heels of cer hands pressed firmly against cer closed eyes. Cer breath comes slow and labored as ce remains like this a while, barely contained frustration leaving cer so tense it seemed ce might snap at any second.

  
Brute Force stood watching in stunned silence while this unfolded, having jumped to their feet in response to the odd sounds of the machine. They had never seen the other Overseer act like this before, at least not that they could ever recall. The machine itself seemed mostly alright aside from whatever had come loose inside, but of course Brute Force was no expert so they couldn’t say that for sure. Engineer on the other hand seemed far from alright, the sight causing concern to bubble up in their chest. After a few moments that seemed to stretch on forever, Brute Force managed to find their voice again.

  
“What just happened? What’s wrong?” Brute Force says, trying and failing to conceal the worry in their voice.

  
“It…. It’s stupid,” Engineer chokes out “I didn’t secure one of the gears properly, it came loose as soon as things started moving.” Ce sighs heavily before hissing under cer breath “stupid mistake, I’m supposed to be better than this…”

  
Brute Force hesitates for a moment; unsure what to do, what to say, how to help. They vaguely open and close their mouth – hands fluttering at their sides – as they attempt to figure out their next move. A mixture of guilt and frustration begins to pool in their stomach. They shouldn’t be hesitating like this, they’ve spent years training to be able to think quickly under pressure, and yet in such an important moment they were floundering. Emotions never had been their area of expertise. In their silence, Engineer begins to speak again.

  
“I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be acting like this,” ce mutters “it’s just the first test. These sorts of things are the reason we perform tests; to find mistakes that might have been missed.” Ce pauses for only a moment, running cer fingers through cer already disheveled hair and readjusting cer glasses which had gotten pushed up onto cer forehead earlier. “It’s just…. Fuck, of all the stupid mistakes… I should be better than this, damn it!” Ce punctuates cer last sentence by slamming the heel of cer hand onto the table.

  
“Cigarette…?” Brute Force says at last, holding out a package of cigarettes in offering. Ce looks over at them, cer purple eyes shining with tears threatening to spill. Engineer doesn’t smoke, they knew this, and they weren’t actually encouraging cer to start. This was something like a code that the two of them had developed together over time. Ce knew what they really meant; ‘I’m offering support, what can I give you instead of a cigarette?’ Engineer hesitates, considering just brushing it off and returning to cer work. Ce knew they wouldn’t push cer if ce rejected the offer. After a moment of thought, ce finally decides to accept the support offered.

  
Finding cerself unable to say it out loud, ce shakily fingerspells _“hug?”_ Brute Force makes an expression of surprise for a moment, not expecting to receive that sort of request. Suddenly self-conscious, Engineer quickly turns cer face away.

  
Ce hastily sputters “I- I mean you don’t have to, you don’t need to feel obligated, sorry, I shouldn’t have even-” but before ce can finish, Brute Force cuts cer off.

  
“Six…” they say, uncharacteristically softly. Ce falls silent but doesn’t look up. In one smooth and practiced motion, they retract the offered cigarette and return the package to their coat pocket. With another smooth motion they quickly snuff their cigarette and discard it in a nearby ashtray. Engineer continues to keep cer head down as they approach. Gently, their fingers brush cer shoulder and all at once Engineer allows cerself to collapse like a house of cards, falling into their embrace. Ce buries cer face in their shoulder as everything spills out, and Brute Force holds cer. Strong yet gentle arms wrapped around cer, they hold cer securely against them while ce spills cer tears onto their jacket.

  
How long they stay like this, it’s hard to say. Engineer huffing out quiet sobs into Brute Force’s shoulder while they tentatively rub their hand along cer shoulder blades in a manner they hoped was comforting. Eventually cer tears subside and they remain like this for a while longer while ce continues to calm down, relaxing into their embrace. The silence that hangs in the room is comfortable, neither one of them are in a hurry to break the silence or the embrace. Eventually Engineer speaks.

  
“Thank you…” ce quietly mutters, cer cheek pressed comfortably against Brute Force’s shoulder. They make a small noise of acknowledgment, praying ce doesn’t notice the way their face warmed or their heart sped up in response.

  
“Don’t mention it.” Their voice then took on a more playful tone as they pulled back slightly to look cer in the face “seriously, don’t. I have a reputation, you know.”

  
Engineer let out a breathy chuckle “of course.” Ce looks back at them with a smile. After a moment like this they both suddenly seem to become hyperaware of the closeness and the intimacy of the moment. Almost simultaneously, they both look away with heat rising to their cheeks and release their hold on each other. Brute Force takes a step back, fingers fiddling with the edge of their jacket. Engineer clears cer throat.

  
“Anyway, I should… get back to my work.” Engineer half mumbles. Brute Force gives an affirmative hum in reply, turning to return to where they had previously been sitting. “again…. Thank you… really.” Brute Force glances back over their shoulder and gives them a quick but genuine smile and a nod of acknowledgment, a fresh cigarette already stuck between their lips. They light their cigarette as they settle back into the position they had been in before. The comfortable and familiar atmosphere returning as they both return to their places.

  
Engineer is working on some sort of gadget or gizmo in cer workshop, as ce often did, though there are tear tracks on cer cheeks and cer eyes are puffy and red now. Meanwhile, Brute Force sits off to the side, smoking a cigarette and watching Engineer work, though there’s a damp spot on the shoulder of their jacket now. The two O5s simply enjoy the comfortable silence together, the quiet only broken by the sounds of Engineer working away. Neither of them would ever speak of this, a kind of mutual understanding in that. There was perhaps also an unspoken understanding that neither of them would trade this for the world. There may be still many things they’ve yet to figure out but for now this was enough, this was good, they’ll figure the rest out later.


End file.
